he is my grandpa.. yes is my lovely grandpa. hmm... he infected for lung cancer on mac of this year... things goes serious it is already worst to level 3 wen we had his body checked... yes, that time wen we 1st know he got this cancer, we extreamly depressed... but wat to do... no matter how expensive is the medical fees we oso gonna pay for it coz he is our man their father s well s my gong gong...! b4 cancer infect grandpa, we used to go breakfast evry sunday morning... but coz of this case happened we neva hang out together... coz its adi spread to his brain and makes right hand of him uncontrollable.. actually b4 this he oways told me wonder y his hand like out of control n cant really write keep shaking sometimes.. n im actually donno that that is really such serious as cancer... haih... a lot of thg happened. everytime wen i see him i have to act like very tough to prove him whether v shud hav positive thinking to gone thru it... even my parents they all keep crying all the times, m oso hafta act like ya evrythg gonna be orite, gonna be fine... but everytime wen i went bck to my room, i was like crying like hell... hmm... we gone thru all this n he is now in a beta condition, but still gonna check up n do his chemotheraphy once a week...
grandpa really love me n sayang me... i was like the most he love among other kids... n im really love him too. parents oways telling me, gong gong evrytime eat alot wen having his meal wit u... mm... this really make some guilty of mine... which i cant accomp him evrytime for evry meal sometimes.. n last week he told me that i hafta APPEAR once a time everyday at his hse... i feel weird y he suddenly tell me this... then i answered OK! without considering... seriously, i can spend wateva to him if i could really do to sactify him... wat to do... gong gong r now a day slimmer, n v all can c it obviously... i do wateva thg he expected me to do... everytime wen i go out wit him, i really wanna hug him n hold his hand walk together no matter how other ppl look at me... i don care s long s i can hold him n avoid evry bad thg happen to him...
this morning... he went toilet n cant control his shit n make the toilet dirty, i clean up wit evrythg... this is not the point... he feel so guilty yet shamed.. coz he feels like gimme trounble to clean up dirty... wen im cleaning the toilet the same time i tell him, u r my gong gong is my responsiblity to do all this to u who cares it is dirty or smelly?! i will clean it up for u wit no blamed!
after that i went hospital wit him n parent for chemo. i chilled wit my aunt who is his daugther. she told me his condition getting worst but maybe we cant c it from outer part of grandpa's but is his inner part. dr told her he dont have much time left... asked me to treasure every moment wit him, i was like blur n the environment goes numb.. (b4 ths i really tot he recovering well, who knows) that time she telling me this i saw some tears coming out from her eyes... i said its ok... don need to be too depressed, as long as we do our best for him,, so that v wont regret in the future... the whole day moody... i really scared of that horrible day comes to me.. i don wan... i really don wan... i wan christmas, CNY n all the festive season wit my grandpa...
promised to god ill do the best to him n my myself unregrettable!! gong, i love u...
pic1> grandpa b4 diseased
No comments:
Post a Comment